Trumpeting Carriages: A Love Story
by marikmarik
Summary: Sexy man-boy chauffeur Kyle and overzealous trumpeter Reggie are in-love and everyone is trying to stop this union. Fairy Godmother has bigger plans for Kyle even if that means Reggie's pain. This plot happens simultaneous to Shrek 2. This story brings a whole new slew of characters. Some of the old ones are there but they're very minor characters. Only FGM remains big.
1. Chapter 1

Trumpeting Carriages: A Love Story

"Reggie, I'm sure you did fine. The procession stands to be a bit stingy." "But, Kyle, I want to perform. How can I do that if Jackson won't let me practice?" Reggie sighed. He didn't know what else he could do. "I will never been good enough to perform for the King and Queen if I can't work on my trumpeting. Playing the same old fanfare… How will I ever improve? I need more." Kyle didn't want to interrupt. He knew Reggie needed to vent.

Reggie didn't say anything for a few minutes but Kyle could hear him breathing heavy. Reggie was trying not to cry. "Rege," Kyle started, "no matter what Jackson says, I still think you're the best trumpeter in Far, Far, Away." He broke Reggie. Reggie couldn't hold back tears anymore. His face became wet and slimy. If Kyle were there, Reggie was sure he'd be repulsed. **"Rege, I love you. You'll be home in a week and you can practice on me all you want. You are the best person I know. You are smart, funny, energetic, spontaneous… You make me happy. I believe in you and your abilities. I love you."** Reggie was hysterically sobbing now. "I love you too, Kyle," he whispered.

"Rege, I have to go now. I love you. You'll be home in a week and we can practice and make Jackson regret his words. I know you're better than he thinks you are. He's jealous. Smile, at the very least, you still have me." "Thank you Kyle," Reggie sniffled. "I… I'll see you in a week." He was unsure of what else to say. Kyle meant so much to him but he couldn't think of the rights words to say to express himself. He had a week to figure them out. Kyle hoped for some more of a send-off but could tell Reggie was having a difficult time. He slowly hung up the portable crystal ball. He just needed to make it a week and he'd be happy again.

A week had passed and Kyle was in the market. "Basil, pumpkin meat, talking radish… Oh there was something else..." Reggie was coming home today and Kyle wanted everything to be perfect. He had planned to make Reggie's favourite meal complete with dessert. The only problem was Kyle didn't know when Reggie was due back. He had to make his trip to Far, Far, Away Farmer's Market fast. He was missing one more ingredient for Reggie's favourite stew but couldn't remember what it was. "Oh, Farquaad. What was that spice… Fairy dust? No. Rude fungus? No. Eye of Newton? Not quite." He smacked himself. Kyle noticed an old hag walking by herself. "Excuse me! Hag!" "I'm not a hag, you twit!... What do you want?" She seemed upset. He could care less. "Could you tell me the magical spice used for curing premature ejaculation? My boyfriend," he blurted. "Say no more, say no more. I'm not stranger to that problem. I've used it many a time to help myself. You're looking for essence of back pimple," she said matter-of-factly. "No, I don't think that's quite right. I've always used something else but I just can't remember its name right now…" Kyle seemed flustered. "Oh, then you want the store brand, Miracle Mayonnaise," she cackled. Kyle corrected himself once he realised the face he was making. She seemed uninterested. "Thank you, then, madam. I'll go buy that then. My boyfriend and I thank you." He began to run away when she called after him, "make sure you get the extra strength for a better night of passion!" "Thank you!" He ran faster. He didn't want to buy the ingredient anymore. He wasn't going to feed the love of his life pimple juice. He ran back to his cottage to begin the stew.

As the concoction was reaching a boil, he started cleaning, going through a checklist in his head. As he bent down to clear a pile of dust, two hands appeared in front of his eyes. He aggressively kicked behind him until he heard a thud and the hands were released. He went to grab the fireplace poker before he realised what he was looking at. Reggie had grown his hair out since he went to greet the Princess. Kyle had realised his error and grabbed Reggie by his waist, hoisted him off the ground, and stared him in the yes. "Reggie! Don't ever do that to me again!" Kyle threw the poker at the ground and slammed his face to Reggie's. Their heads rotated back and forth for several minutes before Reggie pulled away. "Kyle, I'm sorry. I don't mean to break the moment but, do I smell what I think I smell?" Kyle grinned. He knew he did well. "Why yes it is, Rege. Why don't you go clean up and I'll serve it." Reggie looked at the boiled cauldron, looked back at Kyle, and kissed him so hard that Kyle was thrown off balance and nearly fell on the nearby table. "Rege, save it for later. You need to eat," Kyle giggled. Reggie walked off saying back "well, what the hell do you think I was trying to do?" Kyle's mouth hung agape. He'd never heard Reggie be so forward before. He brushed it off and headed to prepare Reggie his homecoming feast.

Reggie came back to the kitchen and sat down in a raggedy cloth tunic. Kyle was puzzled. "Rege, why are you wearing such a ripped piece of clothing? I thought you had your fancy stuff still from your trip?" Reggie just laughed. "Do you think I'd really wear that nice stuff when I'm about to guzzle down this stew? I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the whole kitchen is destroyed once I'm done here," Reggie joked. Kyle stared at him. "Come on, Rege. I just cleaned. Can you keep it a little nice? For me?" "Yeah, okay. I was just jokin' with you, Kyle."

Throughout dinner, Kyle was trying to ask Reggie what his trip was like. Reggie was too preoccupied with eating a real meal as opposed to the instant mutton he was forced to choke down. Reggie finished eating after several helpings. Kyle looked up hopeful and wanted to start talking. Reggie put his hand up to Kyle's face and said "honey, you have done so much for me right now. I cannot express to you how much this means to me. We've been dating for a few months now, and I think it's time. Being apart from you for a week has made me realise how important you are to me," he paused. "Kyle, you mean the world to me. And, I want to share myself with you." Kyle just sat there, staring deep into Reggie's eyes. Had Reggie asked before he left, Kyle didn't think he would have said yes. But, as he continued gazing into Reggie's soul, he felt the same way. Nothing seemed more right than Reggie and he didn't want to know anything else. "Reggie," Kyle started. "Listen, if you don't want to, or aren't ready, or anything. That's fine. I'll wait as long as you want. You mean everything to me and I don't want to rush. I want you to be comfortable no matter over all else. I just want you to know how much you mean to me and I don't know how else to express it." Kyle looked down and smiled. "Hey, Rege?" "Yeah?" "Do you mind if I top?" Reggie started laughing hysterically. "Oh honey, do you really think I'd top you?" They both started laughing.


	2. Chapter 2 - Reunited and it Feels So Goo

Reggie turned to Kyle and said "So, are you ready?" "I've never been more ready for anything else in my life." Reggie snickered. "Shouldn't've said that…" Before Kyle could speak, Reggie bounded over the table, tackled him, and carried him over to the bed. "Rege! When did you get so strong," Kyle cried. Reggie didn't bother answering. He was too busy kissing Kyle's neck. Kyle's knees buckled and he knew he couldn't stand even if he wanted to. Reggie kept going, slowly moving his way up Kyle's jaw and towards his mouth. They locked lips and began rotating ever so passionately. Kyle broke away, locked eyes with Reggie for just a second and rolled over, pushing Reggie to the bottom.

Kyle grabbed Reggie's rags and ripped them off. "It's not like you would have kept them anyways." Kyle's hands first went towards Reggie's nipples; one thumb for each. Kyle began rotating his thumbs, over and over. Reggie let out a slight whimper. Kyle moved his head slowly down Reggie's chest, kissing every second. Kyle's tongue lashed out every few seconds to tickle Reggie's bare chest. Kyle looked up at Reggie for a moment but Reggie's eyes were closed. He had never felt such pleasure. Kyle smirked. Reggie hadn't felt anything yet. His hands left Reggie's nipples and worked their way down his chest slowly. Kyle's hands began undoing Reggie's waistband. Reggie's eyes opened wide and looked down at Kyle. He couldn't believe this was happening. It felt so good. Kyle pulled down Reggie's leggings and was left staring at his breeches. Kyle felt his pants tighten substantially. Kyle looked up at Reggie for a moment. Reggie gave a slight nod encouraging Kyle to continue. Kyle took a deep breath and started to take off Reggie's breeches. He only managed a few tugs before Reggie's dick fell out. Kyle smirked and moved his head to it. He slid the head right past his gums and slid his tongue back and forth over the tip. Reggie moaned. Kyle slowly engulfed the quivering member. His head bobbed up and down for a few minutes before Reggie grabbed the sides of his face and Kyle stopped. "Is something the matter?" "Kyle, I think I'm about to gush." Kyle snickered. This was going to be fun. He slid Reggie's hands away and moved his head back to Reggie's cock. Kyle didn't even make it another thirty seconds before he was forced to swallow Reggie's semen. Kyle had to swallow three times. He felt a little nauseated after. He now knew he didn't want to swallow again. But he kept up the act for Reggie's sake.

Reggie looked down at him and said "Well, I guess it's your turn then." Reggie rolled over and pushed Kyle onto the lumpy mattress. Reggie wasted no time ripping Kyle's clothes off. He was excited. He got his first look of Kyle's penis and couldn't help but smile. He followed Kyle's pattern by playing with his nipples but simultaneously started sucking Kyle dry. He moved his head back and forth, up and down, everything he could to give Kyle as much pleasure as possible. Reggie's eyes lit up and he grabbed Kyle by the hand and whispered "let's do it now." Kyle nodded. Kyle stood up and asked "how would you like to do this?" Reggie smiled and said "just go right in. I'll do whatever you need me to." "Face down, ass up. Let's go." Reggie smiled. This was going to be really good. Kyle approached Reggie slowly and began to slide his penis into Reggie's rectum. Reggie gripped the bed tight. His face was slightly contorted. It hurt so bad, but it felt so good. No, good didn't give it justice. Reggie was paralyzed by ecstasy. Kyle began to thrust. Reggie began whimpering, it just felt so divine. Kyle's speed picked up and the thrusts were becoming much more powerful. Kyle's inner things and Reggie's ass were colliding rapidly. The slapping of the skins was so intoxicating to them both. Kyle threw his head back, biting his bottom lip. Reggie gripped the mattress harder and harder until his knuckles turned white. His ass was becoming quite sore and it was starting to become uncomfortable. But, he didn't want to stop. Nothing had felt this good before.

Kyle started to slow down. "You close?" "No," Kyle started. "Flip around, I want to be able to look at you." Reggie looked up at Kyle, nodded, and began to adjust. "No, Rege, stop. I'm still inside of you!" Kyle pulled out, helped Reggie flip over, and entered Reggie again. Reggie was prepared this time, he was expecting a bit more discomfort, but his rectum had stretched enough to make this round less painful. Kyle learned forward and started kissing Reggie while thrusting erratically. Two minutes later, Kyle locked onto Reggie not letting go, sucking, slightly panting, thrusting much harder and vigorously. A few thrusts later and Kyle looked up and said "Where do you want it?" Reggie thought for a minute and just smiled. "Exactly where you are." So, Kyle locked lips again and continued. Not even a minute passed and Kyle let an ass-shattering thrust and Reggie felt an odd sensation wash over his insides. It felt so weird but so, so good. Kyle slumped over, kissed Reggie a few times, and fell over. "That was a lot more tiring than I thought." They laughed and curled up together.

A few minutes past and Reggie stood up. "I have to go clean up. Just wait here and I'll be back." They smiled and Reggie walked outside toward the well. He grabbed some water and started cleaning his insides. He came back inside and Kyle was half-asleep. Reggie started a fire so they could be even cozier He curled up in Kyle's arms and fell asleep. This felt so right. Nothing could go wrong.


	3. Chapter 3 - Bitch Came Back

Kyle woke early to glowing embers in the fireplace. Reggie was curled up in a little ball. He was so cute. Kyle walked over, kissed him on the forehead, and walked around to stretch a bit. He thought "I'm going to make him breakfast." As he started getting the fire back up to heat the cauldron, he heard a knock. Who would be knocking at sunrise? He walked to the door, opened it, and was staring at the all-mighty Fairy Godmother. Kyle bowed. "Fairy Godmother, what do I owe this pleasure. Please, come in." "Oh Kyle, I'm afraid I can't do that. And, neither can you." Her face grew slightly irritated. She raised her wand and zapped Kyle. He tried to shout but no sound came out. Fairy Godmother shouted something to some big men outside and they rushed in, picked him up, and walked out with him. He was loaded into a carriage and was off. A single tear rolled out of his eye. He didn't care what else happened so long as Reggie was OK.

Kyle had a sharp pain in his arms; he looked down and saw ropes around him. His eyes grew wide, he could move again. He looked at Fairy Godmother. She was preoccupied with polishing her wand. "What… What do you want with me?" Fairy Godmother glanced at him and then back at her wand. "Oh, you're awake. Good. See, Kyle. You're a sexy man. I need a sexy man." Kyle gulped. He was gay. He didn't want to sleep with her, let alone any female. "I have a plan. I need to seduce Princess Fiona and convince her that magic is the best thing to happen to her. And to do that, I need to show her sexy things. Sure, I can show her my son, but I'll save that for later. In the meantime, I need you to seduce her. I need you to make her fall in love with magic." Kyle interjected. "But, I'm gay! I won't be convincing!" She gave a chill-inducing smile. Have you forgotten what business I'm in, Kyle?" He tried to yell for help, but she zapped him again and he went unconscious.

He awoke, tied in a chair, in a circular room with many, many books. Fairy Godmother was floating around listing off books as she flies by. "Wandering with Werewomen, Necronomiconian, Phalanges and You… Oh here you are! Sex and Love: An Experts Guide to Manipulation. Let's see, let's she…" She flips through several pages. "Seems simple enough, I can just add a few things to the Happily, Never After potion." She looked at Kyle. "Oh dear, you're going to enjoy this." She turned to her giant cauldron, waved her wand and a flame ignited. She then waved her wand at a shelf full of potions and Happily, Never After floated down and emptied its contents into the cauldron. The liquid turned black with heat and a skull formed in the smoke.

Kyle was petrified. He was going to lose Reggie. He'd never be happy again. Fairy Godmother grabbed a few other phials off of her shelves and started mixing them in, stirring every so often, and removing heat every now and again. She eventually cried out. She had done it. "Kyle… I have something for you. Open wide." At that word, his mouth flew open. He couldn't control himself. She carried a large flask of the potion over to him and poured it in. He coughed and sputtered but it kept going down. He started to get light-headed and he slumped over, still tied to his chair.


	4. Chapter 4 - FGM

Reggie woke up and moved his arm over to the other side of the bed, hoping to find Kyle. But, his arm just hit more bed. He sat up and looked around. He was nowhere to be seen. He looked at the cauldron and noticed there was a small flame. Kyle had at least interacted with it this morning. But where was he now? "Kyle? Are you here?" No answer. He stood up and walked around. Maybe Kyle had gone on an errand. He found a crumpled piece of parchment on the table and started reading.

"Reggie,

I don't know how to tell you this but, I'm leaving you. We're too different. You're energetic, impulsive, and desire to be the centre of attention and I hate that. We can never be good together so I'm doing the best thing for both of us.

Good-bye. I hope you have a good life,

Kyle"

Reggie sat down clutching his heart. He felt a knife enter his heart, slowly crawling down, and twisting before ripping out taking all other sorts of matter with it. He felt his heart crack, break, and leave him. Kyle, his whole world, left him. He had loved Kyle more than anything else in the world, but now his heart was ripped out and shit on. He crawled into bed and started crying. He didn't want anything other than to die. Nothing would be happy again.


	5. Chapter 5 - Short, But Never Sweet

Reggie woke-up a week later, looked over at the table, and started crying again. He eventually fell asleep.


End file.
